Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i now understand why vodka
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
