I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She bit a glass in half.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
