Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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