My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
