your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
