I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize