cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
