Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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