when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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