i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
