i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize