girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Come on in and take your pants off
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