If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
