At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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