Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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