I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
