Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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