If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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