Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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