you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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