I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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