You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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