yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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