we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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