Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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