your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
