So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
