Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
that may or may not have been my penis.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize