big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
