At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
