just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I will be naked everywhere
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
