Whod you bang
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
