Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
