so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
