so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
