puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just pee around me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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