i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
