I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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