is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
