is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
