Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
