I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
