I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
we should paint friendship bongs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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