he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
