i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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