once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
