Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
