Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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