It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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