Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
its liver damage thursday
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
