Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
