is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
