I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
