Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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