that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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