She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
