Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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