she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize