At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize