my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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