Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
