one might say we're banned from that church
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
