God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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